The In-Between

We are reaching that seasonal change over. From inside vs outside. When I feel less drawn to the studio and long to be outside in the garden. Can you hear it calling? It is wooing me!

While I call myself an artist, I maybe identify more with being "a gardener". Certainly over the years I have gardened more continuously than artmaking. And it is where I feel most at home. Without all the headgames - jealousy and inadequacy and self-worth - that are tied up in my art practice.

There is something soul-filling and peaceful when growing things.

A connection to Earth.

Maybe. Even.

A calling.

If there is such a thing.

I love that there are no expectations or numbers or results other that helping things grow. I revel in the sun's warmth, the smell of fresh soil, the feeling of well being, walking into a filled greenhouse with tray upon tray of baby seedlings, that I have nurtured, throwing their everything into Just Being.

Such potential.

Such hope.

Imagine if I could translate that into my artwork.

Imagine!

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Experimenting and New Things

Thinking about trying new things.

I've embarked on a rather ambitious garden this year, trying to succession plant plus starting most things from seed. To clarify, I try to start my tomatoes/peppers/eggplant every year, but THIS year I'm adding all greens, onions, flowers, herbs, beets, radish...basically anything that isn't a root crop or doesn't like being transplanted (though I WILL be trying some melons and cucumbers just to see) to my seeding roster. And my brain is in overdrive. What if I don't time it right? What if I have too much? (hahahaha. like that is EVER a problem!) What if I have too little? (Always! I am scarcity phobic) What if? What if? What if? 

And I realized that this state of mind is often present in my art practice as well when I'm trying something new. To clarify, again, this is NOT a problem when I'm in an experimentation "Let's See Where THIS Goes?!" mindset. But after I've already started a piece and decide, "Hey! What if I..."? This usually ends up with less than stellar results.

And I think that this raises its head, but don't quote me on this, due to a lack of direction.

 

Case in point. I've been working on this particular piece for weeks now. I have scraped it back to the bare board no less than three times. And it's starting to make me angry. Never a good place to be when creating something! (like making bread. but I digress.)

I mostly know where a piece is headed from the start. Oh! Sure, sometimes things/ideas/problems/solutions come up on the fly and have to be dealt with but for the most part I have the end result clear in my head. 

When experimenting and trying new things, by its very nature, the end result can't be known. Which is great. NOT however when a piece is already started. It creates a very muddy path. Like starting with a palette of 3 colours then continually adding new colours as you go along, you're gonna end up with a muddy mess! 

And so it's been with this piece. I knew I wanted to use the vintage paint box as the container. I knew it would be an homage to my mother. And that's pretty much all I knew. I've added transfers and colours and more transfers and scraped it back and started again, transfer upon transfer... it's just a big ol' muddy mess!

I'm learning ...in planning a garden as well as my art practice... that sometimes taking a deep breath and THINKING/planning for the next step is a much better way of moving forward than blasting ahead and getting my brain in a big knot. And to leave the experiments to their own time where RESULTS are not necessary.

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?!

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Do you listen to music when you create?

Yes! 

No! 

Both are true for me. I have three very distinct phases to my work: 

1.  The thinking, mulling over, what do I want to say, how is this going to work phase. Music. But no voices. So no radio. (I know! So old school!) Usually my ancient ITouch on shuffle. 
2.  The intricate construction, photo manipulation, base layers, getting images "just. right" phase. NO MUSIC! NO NOISE! P L E A S E ! ! I need full concentration and any extraneous sound makes my brain explode. (Shut. Up. Dogs!!)
3. Final ministrations, production line, known tasks phase. Music on LOUD. Or radio. This would be a good time to listen to podcasts if my wifi in the studio was reliable. It is not. Yes. It can be an issue. #ruralnovascotia #firstworldissues 

 Often, I discover, always after the fact which I find SO interesting, that what I was listening to during the Dreaming/Thinking phase will creep into the finished piece. The subconscious is a powerful player in the creative's world. 

I love that things - people, thoughts, MUSIC, imagery - influence my creative process. And I am continually fascinated that until something is completely finished I don't see those influences. 

Brains are astounding!

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When the Land calls

Bridgette asks:

This question again has to do with your land because as you know I am obsessed with living on the land one day  - when you found the land how did you know that was the place. Or did you?

I guess this is The History of Jen Week (did an Introduction post over on instagram) and given where I live really informs my work, it probably is pertinent. In order to answer Bri's question fully however, a bit of backstory may be in order.

I am not a native Nova Scotian.

My parents moved out of my home province of Quebec in the late 70s with the institution of Bills 22 & 101 making Quebec an all French province.

They moved to Shelburne, NS, where I met Tom.

We moved to Toronto for 10 years while he did his corporate thing and I had babies.

I was getting into the idea of homesteading and had already started to move our 10 acres from "country estate" to working farmette.

And then Tom wanted to move back. Ostensibly so our 2 boys could know their grandparents. But also, I think, he just missed the lower key lifestyle.

When we started looking...this was in the late 80s...no internet!...it wasn't quite as convenient as it is now (hello! ViewPoint!). Luckily my parents were on board and kept an eye out for likely properties. 

Our list of "haves" was pretty modest:

1. Somewhere between Halifax and Shelburne. The idea being if Tom had to work in the city, it wouldn't be TOO far and we weren't in our parents (his lived in the same town as mine) back pockets. (not to mention Shelburne is NOT farmland. (hello! Granite Village. I kid you not!)
2. 20 acres (ish).
3. Liveable house. Workable outbuildings.

They rounded up a bunch of properties and in November 1989 we flew in to do a whirlwind tour.
A couple of things we'd found while looking, is that "country estate" properties - between 5 and 25 acres - didn't exist in Nova Scotia then. They were either 2 acre building lots OR 150+acres. (Land grants were doled out in the 1800s in 150acre increments) We never specified water frontage and frankly, had we do it over again, that'd probably be Criteria #4. There are 1000s of lakes and rivers in Nova Scotia. Not to mention oceanfront.  Finding waterfrontage would not have been a hardship back then. But I digress.

We looked at 4 promising properties...others had been visited and knocked off the list by my parents.

The first 3 were smaller acreages. One was across from the ocean and a more gentrified area. The real estate agent felt cows and horses and chickens might not go over very well. One had a renovated house but no barn. Another had a small barn, older home in good nic but was a good 40 minute drive from the highway that linked Halifax and Shelburne.

The final one was Meadowood. It was an estate sale and had not been lived in for 2 or 3 years. The driveway was more a path up a 300 meter (1000feet) hill. The fields were overgrown. The house was old and a combination of particle board, green shag carpet and orange medallion wallpaper. Parts of the barn floor had fallen through and the center bay was filled with loose hay and (we didn't know at the time) farm implements. The cattle stanchions were FILLED with stuff. The shed floor was rotten and listing downhill as was the attached chicken coop. Both were filled to brim with STUFF. But as we walked to the top of the hill behind the house that overlooked Wentzell Lake, surrounded by (albeit neglected) fields with 120ish acres of woodland, I knew, this was it. We put an offer in and owned it within a week!

How did I know?

It felt like home. It was welcoming. It had more than our criteria. It had history. And it spoke to me. This. Now. Yours. 

Not really helpful as a "this is how you find a rural property" tutorial. Other places would certainly have been less work. Maybe other folks can be super practical and make a property work with their head and let the heart catch up. Maybe. All I know is that this property entranced my heart, let my feet grow deep into the earth and became a part of me.

It was a difficult transition from there to here, our new house by the lake. Those roots had grown strong and deep. Even though in my heart, I knew, we needed a change. Thankfully our son and daughter-in-law took  it over and, I think, love it as much as we did.  I would not have been able to stay in the same area had it not remained in the family.

I can not tell you how deeply satisfying it is to live on a piece of land that you know like the back of your hand. It becomes a friend. A living, breathing entity that has its own life, its own story that you can share in shaping and growing and stewarding. Everyone should be able to experience that at least one in their life!

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A List of 10 Things

1. It's still a thrill when things come together in the studio.
2. Currently reading "The Snow Child". May be a 5 ⭐.
3. I equally LOVE and CURSE studio experiments.
4. I just might HATE March-too much Winter-not enough Spring.
5. On the plus side, seed starting has begun!
6. Also. I may have gone overboard on seed buying.
7. I LOVE old barns. Particularly Nova Scotia barns and outbuildings. I should do a Series.
8. I eat, breathe, and sleep a crush,then dump it unceremoniously.
9. I might be the teensiest bit sad to see The Lockdown go away.
10. Sitting in the greenhouse, soaking up early Spring sunshine is a new Life Pleasure.

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Focus on The Work

Why are some lessons so hard to learn?

Because I have been down this path before, maybe a thousand times, between personal online projects back in the day (Hello, olio!) and numerous groups and forums and blog posts. When I focus on The People, my work has no soul. It is driven from without. Instead of within. And The Universe knows. 

This is the deeper, gut felt, corollary to "Live in Passion" or "Do what you Love" or "If it feels simple, you're on the right track". Pick your platitude. 

Try this on for size.

Designate a "DGAF" week, fortnight, month, and let your freak flag fly. Make All The Things. Let your heart rule. Share if you want, though often it helps not to, initially, lest you get dragged down the 'Oh! They Like it' hole (or worse 'Crickets!!'). Just make what you want. How you want. Until that thing SINGS to your soul. Do it once. Twice. Three Times. And only then, when you are feeling SO proud of yourself, offer it out to The Universe without explanation. Certainly no apologies. And I just bet, you will be rewarded a million times over.

How do I know? Because I've experienced it first hand. Over. And over. And over. And if I could remember to NOT get sucked down that "They Love it! They Hate it!" hole, I would be surrounded with work I am thrilled to have produced, share and sell. Mark my words, start creating what "they" love? and your work will become less interesting, less meaningful and certainly less soulful very, very quickly.

FOCUS ON THE WORK.

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The Kind of Artist I Want To Be

This morning I realized, after reading Bridgette's latest blog post, that what I've been grappling with is What Kind of Artist Do I Want To Be?

One of the things I've long admired about Bri's art journey, her work notwithstanding...which, let's be honest, is ahMAZEballs!...is how "serious" she is. What I mean by that is she takes her journey seriously. She thinks about what she's making, how she wants her work to be interpreted. Maybe even what her art legacy will be. (Do ya, Bri? Another question for you!)

I've long admired artists who are searching for the path they want their art to move along so it can describe the story they want to tell.

My work tends to be about process. How does this thing relate to that thing. How do I attach this widget to that gizmo. What does this VGA monitor plug look like. (a robot!) What can I make with this block of wood. Finding solutions to nuts and bolts (read: mechanical) questions. But I want more than that. For example, I love that Michael de Meng's creations start with the world's detritus but he moves far beyond that with his subject matter exploring folklore, demons, Gods and Myths. 

Don't get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with painting/making pretty things. The world needs all the beauty and loveliness it can get. I don't understand but can appreciate artists who paint realistic landscapes their entire careers. But there is something inside me that wants MORE. I want to move beyond just attaching this widget to that gizmo. To create a feeling. To tell a story. 

I came close once. It was one of the hardest pieces I've ever made. It knocked me down taking me to the depths of my soul, then lifted me back into the light. I want more of THAT. I'm ready for that.  

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Self-Reliance throws me for a Loop

 This is the second installment of Answering Questions, an ongoing (I think!) conversation with artist and friend, Bridgette Guerzon Mills, and it took me TWO WEEKS to work through these last two questions! (read the first installment here.)

4. Through the years I have learned that you have experience in so many things from tech to art making to gardening to living with nature - where does this trait stem from? Is it inherently a Canadian self-reliance thing or something taught to you from a parent or something that is just you?

5. How does the above influence your creative process/ art making?

"This first question gave me pause."

That's what I wrote over a week ago. I've been pondering my answer ever since, throwing me into retrospection and memories. Of my Dad, and to some degree my Mom, but mostly my Dad. You see, he was the person I most looked up to, tried to emulate and was sure that my "Can Do" attitude MUST have come from him. He changed careers mid-life, from successful engineer poised to take over the company he worked for to going back to school to become a teacher. This is one of my most important Family Stories with the message that You Can Change Your Life. It is perhaps one of my guiding lights.But upon reflection, it had more to do with a midlife crisis and less to do with Self-Reliance. In fact, he probably put my Mom in more of a pickle than himself as he commuted at night 2 hours each way to get his degree. And moving us out of our newly built home in small town Quebec into an apartment in the city suburbs. That is love, my friends! But self-reliance? Not so much. 

You know how you hear stories from adult comedians about making people laugh at an early age and knowing, right then, that THIS is what they wanted to do? Well, similarly, I have those memories too, only with coming up with solutions to questions asked, far beyond my years. I knew that I loved being the "Font of Knowledge". People paid attention. People (finally) listened to me. I became a sponge. I read reference books for kicks. By the time I was 12 I knew most species (by latin name!) of forageable, edible weeds. And general weird random facts. So much so, my husband to this day, asks ME before googling something. Perhaps that's where it came from?  I'm not really sure.  Also. Canadians are no more self-reliant than any other folk though RURAL people have to be as it could be a life or death situation being in the backwoods, hours sometimes days away (in the middle of a snowstorm for example) from help coming. One of those. Maybe. And that might be the worst answer to a question. Ever.

What I DO know is that this I Can Figure This Out mindset has been a necessity for my art practice.Going to the art store isn't always doable if it's over an hour away, using different materials because I didn't have access to the right materials. Collecting things "because you never know when it might come in handy" was key to my foray into assemblage, a natural evolution if McGyvering is a significant part of your life!  

Living in the middle of nowhere really makes one innovative in figuring out stuff. Though not always in the best way. There are many things I've plowed through, inelegantly, trying to come up with solutions. Wire work comes to mind. As the internet gathered speed and reliability, I was finally able to take an online class from Keith Lobue and really hone those rough skills. I do cringe seeing some of those early pieces. But hey! you are where you are because of where you've been. Right? 

And because I live in a rural area, I can literally walk out my front door into the woods and walk for hours without coming across another human being. Quiet and solitude are my daily companions and a necessary part of my creation process. I am surrounded by Nature. I can't imagine a life without it. 

Don't forget to go read my questions, and Bri's answers, over on her blog.

And if you've enjoyed our conversation Between Artists, let me/us know, would ya? We're thinking this may become a monthly Thing! 

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Answering Questions

 Intro

I've known Bridgette since LiveJournal was THE Thing... 2004ish? I know I have one of her very first mixed media pieces from 2005, titled "Hold Me". Faded over time. Words almost obliterated. And it is one of my very favourite pieces. Because Bridgette is one of my very favourite people. We have been through so much...art challenges, changes in direction, moves, births, deaths, failures and successes...virtually. We, finally, got a chance to meet in person a few years back which I think has cemented our friendship for the long haul. Through thick and thin, baybee! ❤

When we both committed to a #365writingchallenge (writing every day for a year) I knew we needed to collaborate in some way. After deciding on posing 5 questions based on "Things I Want to Know About You" here are Bridgette's questions for me. You will find my questions to her over on her blog.

Without further ado here are her questions and my answers:

1. I love your studio space and I know it's new and was part of your build - what were the important things you thought about in designing/organizing your studio space?

Our initial intention was to have a completely separate building for my studio space as I wanted a "dirty work" side ...woodworking, metalwork and hopefully, eventually, welding...along with a "clean" side for everything else. And I spent a lot of  time planning it: orientation, size, window placement, water supply etc etc. But when the build went to hell in a hand basket, things changed really quickly, with my studio being moved into the basement of the new house, the build plans I'd worked so hard on, went out the proverbial window. And yet, some of them WERE transferable. In preparation, I'd listed all the things I do (or wanted to do) and came up with two main categories: Standing activities and Sitting activities. And, of course, storage. I wante lots and lots of storage. After the house dimensions came into focus and therefore my studio space, I came up with a step-back cupboard design the full length of one wall (15 feet long) with the upper section having adjustable shelving  to the ceiling at a depth of 12". And the lower section at counter/standing height with an extra depth of two feet so I could stand as well as two big shelves underneath for storage. Then at a right angle forming an "L" under the two east-facing windows is the 8 foot desk portion, lower by 7" so I can sit down. 

The walls are plywood so I can bang nails in to my heart's content, the floor is concrete and heated, and the shelving is all wood. There is also a walkout to a deck overlooking the lake. I know. Truly blessed.

Organization/systems are my jam. So I already had that pretty much figured out. My "Go To" storage containers are clear plastic (shoe) boxes (think Costco), storage boxes with attached lids, and a local find, domino tins. Our sheltered workshop makes wooden boxes for dominoes games so they always have a surplus of these 5x7x1 1/2" tins that the dominoes come in. I have way. WAY. too many of these tins. But I love them. And of course. A label maker. I divide and sub-divide, every few months. If I need to think, or calm down, I dump out a container of stuff or ten and organize.

2. You encompass "multi media artist" with all that you create. I respond strongly to your assemblage/sculptural pieces. Especially pieces that include your metal work. Please share all the media you work in and what is your favourite.

Firstly, thank you so much for your kind words and your undying support, it means so much to me! xx

Okay. So by time period... before children then into my early 20s, I started with black ink illustration and watercolour. I had (have?!) a tendency to burn things when in a fit of pique so there aren't very many things left from those days. I marvel at those who have artwork right from the beginning of their careers! But I digress.

I had a long, dry, no-tactile, all digital period right into my 40s and then discovered mail art. And then altered books. Which led to mixed media...collage along with some three-dimensional adds to mostly two-dimensional pieces... and for a time, an absolute obsession with figuring out the. perfect. image transfer technique. And I was pretty successful. Until paper formulations changed. But by then I had discovered assemblage.  And it felt like I'd finally found my niche. Until I wanted to learn metal skills. Are you sensing a trend here?!?

Living at the end of the world, I often have to resort to teaching myself the skills I want or need so I completed every single project in both Linda/Opie O'Brien's book "Metal Craft Discovery Workshop" and right after, Stephanie Lee's "Semiprecious Salvage". And a whole new world unfurled for me. Until I took a 4 year(ish) sabatical while attempting to be an athlete.

Upon my return to the world of art making, I became somewhat of an online class whore, learning chainmaking and plaster techniques, rudimentary encaustic, along with form and line and mark making. And now I'm trying to figure out how to make them all work together! 

As for which is my favourite, as you can read in my last few posts, I am struggling with exactly that. I love the simplicity of paint. And I love imagery. But show me a second-hand or antique shop filled with vintage treasures? Or heart-shaped stones? Or bones? Or rusty metal? And my brain goes into overdrive. I am a passionate lover of STUFF. I can flipflop between the two ...paint/encaustic images and assemblage pieces. Or I can try to combine them. That, I guess, is my current Capital "G" Goal.

3. When your were a child, what was your favorite past time? (I have a theory about this and ask other creatives all the time 😄)

I was a pretty solitary kid. I had two much older brothers, 15 and 13 years apart and an older sister, though only 4 years older, was in and out of hospital for a good portion of our childhoods. Two things that were pretty darned constant were BOOKS and "playing horse".

By the time I left elementary school, I had read every age appropriate book in our school library and was making a decent dent in the town library. And I had a hard, mad crush on horses. They played a pretty dominant role in my young life, riding from the age of 10 until my 20s. (Fun Fact: we bred Norwegian Fjord horses when we first moved back to Nova Scotia in the early 90s). I still love horses. And while maybe not quite as prolific, I still read anything. (Let me know your theory, Bri. Did I win?!? 😁)

And I'm gonna call it a day here. 

Don't forget to visit Bridgette and read her answers to my questions.

Thanks for hanging out with me. Until next week!

Next Week: Part II answering these next two questions.

4. Through the years I have learned that you have experience in so many things from tech to art making to gardening to living with nature - where does this trait stem from? Is it inherently a Canadian self-reliance thing or something taught to you from a parent or something that is just you?

5. How does the above influence your creative process/ art making?

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Find the Questions!

After last week's whinging sesh ...and while thinking about content for the February(?!) newsletter... it suddenly came to me: "marketing" need not mean selling. Marketing could mean sharing. And why the hell hadn't I thought of that before?! *face palm* I've, since, been thinking about questions. Because I do believe that Capital "A" Art answers the world's big questions. Or at least tries. Because for time immortal, it is the artists that respond to what's going on around them and ask those deep, sometimes dark, questions.

An excerpt from my journal:

"Having an idea is wonderful. There is excitement and engagement in exploring the "NEW"."

Alas. The thrill is temporary. Even if it results in good work. It doesn't result in GREAT work. Why? Well. I think because it is stationary. A point in time. And the very best work is a conversation between the artist and viewer. At the very least, it should be a narrative creating a map for viewers to follow along, ideally reaching the same, or similar, end point as the artist.

Too high falutin?
Maybe. But it sure is something to aspire to.

So. I've been pondering questions. 

There are simple ones like: How did I make this? What is going on around me? What am I thinking about? Hmmm. Though these may be closer to an Artist Statement...ie after the fact... than during or even before sitting down to create. Or how about: What do I want (you) to feel when looking at this? Oooo! Even better: Why Does This Matter To Me? 

If those were top of mind as I create, I think my work can only get stronger. If I can answer them through the resulting art, there should be a reasonable, clear story to follow and while the viewer may refute my conclusion, well then ...maybe...  they'll come up with some really good questions of their own.

Do you ask questions while you create?
Do you have any favourite ones?
Please tell me!

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The Fritter Continues

 

Man oh man! I can't settle down, for the life of me! Every morning, my aim is to clear the decks and do some major series or exploration work, and every day I flit from station to station… a little chainmaking, some quick wax application, oh wait! this needs a flick of paint or no! what it REALLY needs is a copper back and some rivets. Oh. But I need some stronger wire. Let's go online and order some! Geezzzzz!

So far this year...and January is all but over!... I've made some wire and stone fripperies, a Thing with Wings, repurposed some plaster works, played around with a monoprint from the flurry of last Spring, started some encaustic pieces and not much has been finished.

What the heck is going on here?!!?

The second I thought I had to be a "profitable" artist is the second I killed my creative juice. Now don't get me wrong. All the above is still "creative". Prolific even. But it is not work that is deeply satisfying. Again. Don't get me wrong. I love being a Maker of Things. And seeing a string of completed little Fripperies makes me smile. But. When work burbles up from deep down, from that connection with Other (read: the Universe, my muse, God, the Creator, whatever works for you) when time stands still and the art seems to create itself? That is the stuff I'm here for. THAT is Creative Juice. Life giving. And, gotta say, it's been awhile.

And I know that playing with stones and wire and metal isn't really the path back to that sort of creating. Even though I do love it. I think maybe it's because so much of three dimensional work is problem solving. I need to stay present in order to fix This to That. And while there is a definite satisfaction upon finding the perfect solution, it has yet to compare with the effervescent fulfillment I get when making images/paintings.

I. Am. Privileged.

I know it and am eternally grateful that I'm in the enviable position of not HAVING to sell my work in order to eat. And there is tremendous guilt. Because even though I need to create in order to survive (or risk eating myself inside out), it still feels superfluous somehow. And I'm having a really hard time finding my way around that. And guilt-ridden for even thinking it. Let alone saying it out loud. Am I the only one?

I suspect the answer is to leave the explanations and platitudes and guilt-ridden self-talk at the door and make the work that makes my heart sing. There has to be worth in that.

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Jill Of All Trades

From my journal: 

What does being frittered in my art practice do to my Art? If I limited my materials how would that manifest? Would my work become boring? Or would it force me to become more focused and the work would become stronger? 

Questions I've long pondered.

Every day I walk into my studio and see it filled to the brim with assemblage objects...wood and rusty metal, tins and bins filled with collected "treasures". I have a metal/wire station, a painting station, a torch station which shares space with my encaustic hot plate. Two tables, one 8 feet long, one four feet long. Not to mention an entire counter at the ready. Shelves, jammed. Everything neatly labeled (because I'm nothing if not organized) awaiting an inkling of inspiration.

And every January I get back to this question... if I focused on Just. One. Thing. what would that look like? 

Don't get me wrong. I love being a "Jill of all trades". I love that I get to play with so many mediums. My hope, of course, has always been that one skill informs the other. But I wonder. Maybe it's stopping me from really excelling at any one thing.

I'd love to hear YOUR thoughts, you Jill of All Trades (or recovering Jills. Or Jacks)?

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Dealing with Lizard Brain

Art making is kinda weird, isn't it? The practice of sitting down...or standing up...pouring one's soul onto canvas or paper or "thing", trying to sidestep Self, allowing a direct connection with Muse or Spirit or God. I can't think of any other activity in ordinary life where this might be a Good Thing. (though it may explain social media interactions. or modern politics!)

And when we can't...or won't...get out of our own way?  Ugh! The self-doubt and recriminations and inner critic. So. Loud. So. Obnoxious. And those of us who've been at this awhile KNOW we need to shut that down, IMMEDIATELY. And yet? Each time all that crap surfaces. Yet again. We believe it. Maybe only for a microsecond, if we're lucky. But we believe it. Over and over and over again. It's infuriating!

Case in point. I've had this idea of doing some monochromatic figure studies in encaustic. I've been collecting images. I've been imagining how I'd abstract them. I've been excited to get going on this in the New Year. Then online, a yearly challenge pops up that piques my interest...and you know, I love a good challenge. Lo! And Behold! January's theme is Black and White. Well if that isn't the Universe saying, "Hell to the Yah!" I don't know what is?!? And all of a sudden all that excitement for my New Year project turns to anxiety. Old Lizard Brain starts up, "What if it's not good enough? What if they don't turn out? What if no one likes them?" What if no one LIKES them? Where did THAT come from?!? Geeeeez! I've been procrastinating for a week because of that stupid inner voice getting in the way, stealing my mojo. 

In the past this might have stymied me for weeks and months! Kinda sad really, when the simple act of Doing It, Acting As If, Fake it til you Make it, shuts it up and you can get back to the most important thing, creating! 

So if YOU find yourself dragging your feet because you started believing your inner critic? Tell your Lizard Brain to Piss Off! Do one small thing...pick up a brush or a pencil, make a mark in your sketch book, prime some canvasses or...mix up some plaster and cover your boards! Look you're doing it! Go you! You rock! Shut up, Brain! 

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Time has passed. Things haven't changed.

Well. Okay. Maybe they've actually gotten worse. I swear. The world has gone mad. Absolutely stark raving bonkers. After my last post there was a flurry of gel print making. My studio drowned, under piles of paper. I will have enough collage material for the rest of my life. As the studio calendar above indicates, the space was vacated once the weather became steady. And outside I've remained. Because playing in the dirt is really the only thing that makes sense to me these days. Food. Flowers. And on these hot sultry summer afternoons? Lazing in my floatie in the the middle of the lake. Maybe when the cooler weather returns, the studio will again beckon. In the meantime, my friends, stay safe, play in the dirt and if you have to head out into the world? Wear your damn mask.

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