playing aroundI have two "go to's" when I'm procrastinating or feeling particularly down on myself.
The first is waaaay more destructive ...intense focus on what a slob/failure/fat fuck I am... and I am happy to say that I fall down THAT particular hole way less than I used to. My usual time for that particular self-flagellation is at 4a.m.. Which in and of itself is telling because I am a Good Sleeper. I have many other ..erm issues... but not sleeping ain't one of them. If I can't sleep, well it's because I've entered giant sloth mode and I kind of deserve a)not to be sleeping and b)to light a fire under my butt. The DIFFERENCE between self-flagellation of yore wherein I would fall down the hole and BELIEVE what I was telling myself vs my current state of mind where I can recognize it as the kick in the ass it really is.
The second mode of procrastination and tends toward not making art when I really really really NEED to make art, is to redo my website. Because in the past it was a legitimate expression of creation. Oh. Not to say it still isn't "legitimate" it's just that well, I don't DO websites anymore. So it's more synonymous with cleaning the bathroom (ha! like that'd ever happen!) or re-organizing the studio (ha! OF COURSE that happens!) when what I really really really need to do is get my hands dirty. With paint. Or [fill in the blank].
The downside of redoing websites ...this one in particular... is that my Jack Russell brain can't let it go. I have to frig around and frig around and frig around until I mash it into whatever mold I currently have in mind. Sad fact is though my web skillz are less than they once used to be so I spend an inordinate amount of time looking for pre-created solutions rather than just taking the time to LEARN what I need to know.
urg. My brain drives me nuts sometimes!
After 3 days of mucking around, wasting time, not to mention actually DREAMING about coding, (can't remember the last time THAT happened) I think I'm ready to hang up the keyboard and actually get back to work.
But first ... look at these pretty girls!